The Basement Walker

Well, still in the “I can’t make this stuff up” category, this guy on match sends me an email.  His profile was great, but I was a bit concerned with his pictures.  They were so staged, it was borderline creepy.  All of his pictures were him by himself (good) but you could tell he went to a lot of trouble to portray several things.

He had a picture of himself posing in his kitchen (showing he isn’t afraid to cook).  Another picture of him leaning on his banister (showing he has a nice house).  And the final picture of him holding up a champagne glass (showing he likes the finer things in life).  The part that cracked me up was the staging part.  Most people just crop pictures in various locations, not all from home.

Anyway, we don’t have a phone conversation and just meet out at a bar.  When we meet, the first thing I notice is he has a very heavy lisp.  So much so that I have to ask him to repeat things quite a bit.  Not a deal breaker, but, tough to communicate.

I was pleasantly surprised with our first date.  The conversation flowed and he actually brought me flowers and candy.  I thought that was very sweet of him and it really scored points with me.

He dropped me off at home and went on his way asking if we could go out again.  I said of course and so he told me he would call me.

He called and we went out the following weekend.  He brought me more flowers on the 2nd date.  A girl could get used to this.  We happened to go to a bar where my friend lived right above it and I asked him if he minded if she came down so we could have a cocktail.  He was a bit hesitant but said it was fine.

In retrospect, I probably shouldn’t have put him in that situation so soon but I was curious to see how he would handle it.  My friend comes down and we have an OK conversation between the 3 of us but it wasn’t awesome.

As we are talking, I am learning that he is a bit socially awkward.  I think he feels like he is being playful, but he can just be mean. Which he was to my friend. Very concerning.

For our next date, I invite him to a Bulls game with a customer.  He is a nervous guy where he is always fidgeting and again he just says things where I can’t believe they come out of his mouth.

We are watching the “Luvabulls” (cheerleaders) and my customer tells us she tried out for to be a Lakers girl.  His reply?  “Yea, right, good luck with that”.  Really?   Does he have to be that mean?  I felt like I would have a lifetime of apologizing for this guy.

I will have to say, on a positive note, he was a very romantic guy.  Every single date was planned by him, even down to the table he had selected.  He always brought flowers to our dates, and, even sent me flowers once just signed by an “admirer”.  During the time I was dating him, I happened to have ankle surgery and he would stop by and bring me dinner, clean my house, etc.  He was very caring which kind of evened out his quirky side but, not for long.

Speaking of quirky, here are the quirkiest things about him (in no particular order):

He is a single guy, never been married, works downtown and chooses to live an hour outside of Chicago.  I know not everyone is a city person but I can’t imagine doing that commute every day.  Why not live closer?  And, it wasn’t like he grew up in the neighborhood he lives in or anything?  Things that make you go hmmmm.

He grew up in the Chicagoland area and when I took him to that Bulls game, it was the first time he had ever been to a NBA game.  Not even in the Jordan days.  Shocking to me, again, that might be great for some girls, but not for a sports fan like me.

He does not have an ATM card, he just goes to Jewel when he needs cash.  I can’t imagine having to rely on grocery store hours when needing cash.

He doesn’t have any friends, notta one.  No work friends, no high school or college friends.  He said they have all moved on with their lives.  His only buddy is his brother.  I feel like you should always have at least one friend you can count on!

He doesn’t believe in any religion, does not think there is anything else beyond our current life.  Again, might work for some girls but not this Catholic girl.

He also feels when you are married, you can cheat on your spouse,  once.  He says no one is perfect and that one time is forgivable.  Where do I begin?  Let’s just say, obviously I feel differently.

And, here is the quirkiest:

He likes to work out every day which I totally understand and appreciate.  He has a knee injury so he can’t run anymore so he likes to walk.  I asked him where he walks? Outside, health club, etc. 

He said he can’t walk outside (here is where the manly part comes in) because he is afraid of getting hit by a car.  Strange since he lives in such a rural area.  So, he said he is in the basement.  I said, on a treadmill watching TV?  Nope, he walks in circles for 2 hours a night in his basement.  Yes, you read that correctly.  One hour before dinner and one hour after dinner.  No TV, music, just him walking in circles.

That walking in circles was the last straw.   He would email me saying “thinking of you” (sweet) and I would email him back “thinking of you walking in circles in your basement, ha!”.  Just very unusual to me.

After a couple of months, we decided to go our separate ways.  He will hopefully make someone very happy, just isn’t me.

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Lesson learned?  Quirkiness can be endearing or annoying.  Very quickly you will discover which it is!