This Ship Has Sailed

I have had so many internet dates but this one was in the early days.  Now, I am the one who used to mock people for being online but decided if millions of people are doing it, why not join ‘em.

A gentleman (let’s call him Bob) e-mailed me saying he enjoyed my profile. We talked a couple of times on the phone and decided to meet out for a drink.  A little background on Bob?  He is a suburban guy who sells magazines to libraries.  On the side, he manages apartment buildings.  Seemed like a nice enough guy so I was looking forward to the date.

Bob wanted me to meet him at a little Irish Pub and I was all for it.  When we met, he seemed like a clean-cut kind of guy which is great for me.  As we were getting to know each other, I learned that his passion lies in sailing.  I didn’t have the heart to tell him sailing is far too much work if I am going to be on a boat, not a fan.  I found it somewhat annoying that wherever our conversation went, it led back to sailing.  If I asked him how many siblings are in his family, he would have tricked me back into talking about how the family loves to sail.

Anyway, mid-way through our date, we just happen to run into a couple that are his best friends at this obscure bar.  I am quite sure he planned it that way but not 100% sure why.  He then invited them to sit with us.  Now, I have gone from trying to make an impression with this guy, but also his friends.  I found it somewhat exhausting so decided to call it a night.  He walked me out to the cab and I was on my way.

Bob called the standard 3 days later, and we talked for a while.  At the time, I was moving so was really preoccupied with that major hassle.  As we were talking, I pulled into my garage and lost the connection with him.

That was the last I have heard from him, or, so I thought!

Fast forward to 6 months later my Mom calls me saying she has a nice boy from the Suburbs she wants to set me up with.  One of her patients’ landlord’s son is looking for a great girl and doesn’t want to meet her in a bar.  My Mom warned me he is a bit shy but she is convinced opposites attract.

A couple of days later my Mom called and said he can’t call for a bit as he is in the Mackinac Race.  This shot up a red flag immediately.  I said, what does he do for a living again?  She said he is in sales and also manages a couple of buildings.  I said Mom, I think I may have met this guy already on the internet.  She said, can’t be.  I said, hmmm, what is his name again?  She said Robert.  I said that doesn’t ring a bell but let me do some research.  I go through my past e-mails and find an e-mail from a guy named Bob who I met at that Irish Pub.

On the outside chance this is a small world story, I e-mailed him and said, we went out before for drinks and now my Mom is trying to set me up with a nice guy from your city who likes to sail and manages apartment buildings.  His name is Robert.  Does this ring a bell?  He said – I am supposed to be set up with an executive from Chicago named Susan. Leave it to these senior citizens to call us by our proper first names.

He apologized for not calling me back months earlier and wanted to go for a drink again.  I thought, what if this was meant to be?  Is the universe telling us something?  I gave it another shot and we went to a new Irish Pub by my house.

Bob is a nice guy but I was stretching to find things to talk to him about again.  Our conversation went from sailing to staying in trailers.  I didn’t have the heart to tell him camping is for sure in my rear-view mirror.

I was really trying to make this work and then the deal breaker appeared.  He asked me if I ever heard about a book called “How celebrities died and where they are buried”.  I said – no, I haven’t.  He bought that book last December right before the holidays and found it fascinating.  So much so that he decided to go find Mr. Brady (yes, Robert Reed) on Christmas Eve.  Apparently, Mr. Brady is buried in a suburb of Chicago.  He said he found the cemetery easily enough but really had to look for his exact grave.  He enjoyed it so much he thinks he might make it an annual event.

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Lesson learned?  Always go with your gut instinct and listen to the universe. We lost that call for a reason. And, a guy creepin’ on cemeteries on a holiday is probably not my guy. #recyclingguyproblems