The Germaphobe

I have a very dear friend who is always trying to set me up (bless her heart).  Her latest attempt was a guy she worked with but didn’t know very well.  She said he seemed like an average Joe type of guy and was very nice.  I said happy to meet him!  (For the record, I always view these type of situations as adventures, I typically don’t ask many questions).

After talking to him on the phone, I learned he was very chivalrous (bonus points).  He wanted to be sure he picked me up for our first date.  I told him I could meet him at the restaurant, but he insisted otherwise.

As he calls to say he is out front, I realize I don’t even know what color car he has let alone what he looks like.  He says he has a red car, got it.

I walk out front and see a bright, shiny, red Land Rover.  It was a very impressive car that was recently washed and spotless.  It was one of those tall SUV’s where the back is raised.

I find that we are going to a restaurant that is 2 blocks from my condo.  He informs me that due to the height of his car, he has only one garage he knows he can park in, so, we were on our way.

As we are driving, we pull up behind a horse and buggy.  Have you ever heard the expression, pi$$ like a race horse?  Well, this horse unloaded right in front of us.

I have known this guy for all of 2 minutes, so I was dying to comment on it but didn’t feel like I knew him well enough.  When the light changed for us to proceed, there was no other place for us to go except straight through the mess.  Concerning?  Not for most people – stay tuned.

This parking garage that he wanted to go to was tore down, they were building condos in its place.  Typically, it would not be a problem to find a garage elsewhere but remember, we are working with a tall car that just won’t fit in most garages.  And, the restaurant he picked didn’t have valet.

After about 30 minutes of driving, I remember an open-air lot a couple of blocks from the restaurant.  (for those keeping score – my condo was closer to the restaurant than this lot).  Anyway, he says great, and we are on our way to find it.

As we get to the lot, it was about half full.  He takes the parking ticket and as soon as we get through the gate, he stops and is anxiously scanning the lot.  I, of course, had to ask what he is waiting for as there are spots right in front of us?  He said he is trying to pick a spot where no one will pull in next to him.  He was calculating the possibility of door dings.  He assured me that was the only quirky thing about him.

As soon as he said that, I knew there was more.

As we get to the restaurant, we had to take an escalator upstairs for seating.  As we are on the escalator, I notice him touch a plant along the way.  I asked him if the plant was real.  He said no, and then said I can’t believe I touched it, I can’t believe it.  He went on to say his concern was so many people have touched that plant.  I said, probably not as many as this escalator railing?  So, tell me, are you a germaphobe?

He said, no, I am not a germaphobe, however, if you think I will stand above a toilet when it flushes, no way.  I said, huh?  He said, you know, when you flush a toilet, it essentially sneezes on you.  He went on to say, do you believe some people don’t get out of the way of that?  Or, leave their toothbrushes uncovered in the bathroom?  Hmmmmm.  No, I never thought of it.

He then asked me if I use the top basket in a shopping cart.  I said sometimes, why?  He said, so many dirty diapers have sat in that spot and you should never put anything in there.  Well, now my attitude changes and I am in this for the sport of it.  I proceed to say, actually, sometimes I like to put my loosely wrapped deli meat in that top basket.

He was horrified.  The dinner went downhill from there.  I smiled as I sat back and thought about the beginning of the date knowing how much it must have bugged him to roll through the horse pee.  I am sure he was under his car with a toothbrush that night scrubbing it clean.

He then wanted dessert.  My immediate response was let’s share something until I thought about it and said, we’ll get our own.  I would imagine he wanted to keep those germs separate.

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Lesson learned?  If a guy shows his quirkiness early in the date, believe him.