Defending My Honor

It is a typical Friday night and my friends’ and I decide to go to a local Irish Pub for a couple of beers.  As we were having cocktails, I noticed a guy standing by the bar in a Bears jersey tucked in his jeans.  This intrigued me, I thought to myself, hmmmm, not a game day, what is going on over there?  The curiosity plagued me until I approached him to find out more.

We talked for quite a while and he asked for my number.  He called a couple of days later and asked me out for the following weekend.  Knowing he was a sports fan, I asked if he wanted to sit in great seats for a Blackhawks game?  I was able to get tickets.  He was all for it.

Prior to the game, we met at a restaurant for dinner.  He showed up with a gift for me (awwww).  It happened to be a mask that looked like I was a face painter supporting the Chicago Bears (see photo).  Not quite a bottle of wine or flowers, but it was the thought that counts.

After dinner, we proceeded to the stadium to our most excellent seats. 

During our conversation, I learned the following:  He is a smoker (deal breaker), addicted to gambling, and doesn’t have a pot to pi$$ in. 

He has spent every penny (and then some) of every pay check he has ever received with a bookie.  Dream date, huh???

After the game, we decided to go back to the Irish Pub where we met for a couple of more beers.  We found a great table in the center of the Pub.  Foolishly, (should have known better as a city girl), I set my purse down on a chair next to us.  As we were talking, I see a group of guys come through the bar and one of them swipes my purse.  Immediately reacting, I say, one of those guys just took my purse and head out after them.

These guys go out a tricky side door to the bar.  I follow them (probably not my smartest move, but it was an instinct).  There was a bouncer by this side door and I say stop these guys, one of them has my purse.  The bouncer stopped them and they all say she’s crazy, we don’t have it.  I made all of them open up their coats and I didn’t see it.  I was wondering what happened to it?

I decide to go back inside the bar to see if I was crazy.   As everything happened so fast, I didn’t realize that my date followed me out the side door to talk to the guys.  I go back to my table, look around and don’t see my purse.

Now, even after a couple of beers, you sober up pretty quickly when you realize your entire life in your purse was just taken.  I scan the room and see something in the corner of the room.  I run over there, yup, my purse.  I open the bag up scanning the contents to ensure nothing was taken.  Feeling relived, I realize it is all there!  Even my palm pilot remained intact!  (This was a while ago folks.)

Perhaps these guys were just goofing around, but they definitely moved my purse and threw it in a corner.  Maybe it is because I reacted so quickly?  Hard to say.

I then look around and realize my date is nowhere to be found.  A few minutes later, he comes to the table with a bartender and a bag of ice.

I realize he has a shiner on him that is growing bigger by the second.  What I didn’t see, was that he went out to those guys and asked for my purse and they decided to beat him up for it.  4 guys on 1.  It was ugly.  Apparently, they tried to take his eye out of the socket – nice, huh??

I couldn’t believe it!  I told him we should go to the emergency room but he said no way.  He was fine to continue drinking.  I am pretty sure he didn’t have insurance.  The bartender comes over with another drink for him.  Not seeing what happened, I was quite sure he didn’t start any of it or the bartender would have kicked him out rather than being sympathetic.

Being kind of the drifter that he was, this didn’t even phase him.  He wanted to go to another bar!

As we arrive to the next place, of course, he was the talk of the bar.  Everyone kept saying, I wonder what the other guy looked like? (clearly recognizing he was in a brawl).

We stay there for a little while and now it is 2 in the morning.  I said I really need to get home.  He said, I’ll share a taxi with you.  We get in the cab and he says, I have a favor to ask. I said, what’s up?  He said, when I left my apartment this morning, I smelled gas (sounds like a personal problem – tee hee) and should have called the gas company today but didn’t.  He was worried he would go home, go to sleep and never wake up, or have his house explode.  He wanted to know if he could stay over.

Now, I wasn’t even interested in this guy and I did feel bad sending him to a death chamber after the fight he got in to (on my behalf) but felt certain this was a line.  I did indeed send him on his way.  Never to be heard from again.

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Lessons learned?  Never underestimate the line a guy will tell to attempt to stay over. (And, hang on to your purse!)