Elevator Pitch

On most dating sites, everyone has the opportunity to sell themselves in a short paragraph in their profile. I always think most would want to put their best foot forward and hide the crazy until later. However, I find that is not the case at all.

I am always amazed as to what some guys want as their first impression. I find some are so negative or odd that it tends to be an immediate turnoff for me.

Now, in full disclosure, I don’t put much in my paragraph because I think guys are mostly visual and I would prefer to get to know someone in person. But, here are examples of ones I have seen in just the past week! And, all guys who have liked me and/or sent me a note. I can’t make this up!

Bill: Sleep, sleep and more sleep. When I wake up, my favorite thing to do is take a nap with Hurricane (assuming this is some sort of pet?).

Rick: Trying to find somebody I will get along with.

Reggie: I love to have fun and open to anything that is not painful.

Pat: Good men do exist, we’re just ugly.

Tim: I am here for the long haul and just want to look at my partner and cry.

Walter: Who am I? You will have to invest in a few conversations to discover that, yet in the meantime, who are you?

Are you a confident, well-spoken and intelligent woman? A woman who laughs at the Far Side & SNL/Mad TV? Are you a devoted Mom with a solid spiritual foundation who isn’t afraid to shout, “Damn-it! Get out of the left lane!” even with your kids in the car? Do you enjoy fine foods or do you have foods you don’t like that is longer than an 8 year old’s Christmas List?

Tom: If she replies to your sarcasm with sarcasm instead of just getting offended, she’s a keeper!

Paul: I love looking into her eyes and saying a cheesy line.

Keith: I am a nice down to earth person. But, a person must carry their self in a professional matter at first until we get to know each other a little better. See how a lot of TV personalities got caught up for things they said. But, once we break the ice I am all the way live and funny person to be around and get to know better.

Sean: Athletic, funny, amazing singer some call me the Most Interesting Man in the World. My boss says I should have my own YouTube channel telling stories, jokes and singing songs.

Nick: I’m semi-grounded, love music of most kinds, even country LOL. I like to be out in nature and have no problems getting off work on Friday and driving 4 hours to go rafting. If you can communicate and have something to say besides “good, fine, it’s OK" to a paragraph from someone else, then say Hi.

Frankie: Drama free zone. YES! I have pictures, you get them if we can start a conversation, and see if this goes someplace. I do not share my info, let's have a chat first and get to know me. The looks are there, believe me.

Steve: Conservative by choice. Complicated by consequence. Wild by Nature.

Joe: I’m looking for someone who is real, who is not a scammer looking for money, wow, looking for a true friend in here is like looking for a diamond in a pile of coal. Be honest, be yourself, even if your ugly. Haha.

William: If you’re a miserable person, leave me alone.

John: Single never married. People ask why? Lucky I guess. LMFAO. I’m dumb not stupid. Got close a couple of times but paid attention to the danger sings and treacherous conditions and bailed. Was right every time. Be true to yourself and your guy doesn’t betray you. No drama here. Definitely very independent not needy. A loaner if you will until a person accents my life as I do theirs. If you have children under 10, then, I am not your guy. Move along.

Geno: Widower to a shark attack. My loss is your gain. Thant’s my story and I am sticking to it.

Chilo: Hot mess

Ivan: Looking to buy or sell real estate? Contact Ivan with 15 years of experience.

Franco: Everything starts with hello. Covid 19 vaccine taken 3/21.

Tito: I love women who are compelled to inform me of just how intelligent they are, because obviously I’m incapable of figuring the level on my own. If you also think it’s okay to spell or speak the word “periodt” then I have already made my conclusion too.

Jeff: Never married. No kids. Please stop with the filters. I don’t want a relationship with my phone. If you only want to text, move on.

John: If you are looking for someone to send you money in form of cash, any kind of card, western union just keep going and look somewhere else. If you want to chat and see where we can go than I’m good on that.

Jerzy: I am looking for a woman who would let me do some changes about her house and her life.

Angel: Don’t waste time getting too old. And, dating sucks.

Lesson learned? When someone shows you who they are (especially early on), believe them!