He Has Man Hands!

One of my friends was out with her niece at an Irish Bar for St. Patrick’s Day. They happened to meet a single guy and wanted to set me up with him. I of course said, would love to meet him! Slainte!

This guy was born in Ireland and they tell me he had a strong brogue. They sent me a picture and I was intrigued.

But, and I am not sure why, all I could focus on were his hands! The pint glass he was holding looked like a shot glass. I couldn’t get that Seinfeld episode out of my head! He definitely has man hands.

Having said that, of course I was still interested in meeting him. My friend gave him my phone number so we started texting. Even though we both speak English, there was definitely a language barrier. I thought it was best to just copy and paste below!

Irishman: Hello Sue. Michael I meet your friend and her niece in The Gage.

Sue: Hi Michael, a pleasure to meet you.

Irishman: Maureen gave me yiur number I hope that’s ok with you.

Sue: Of course. No problem. Happy to grab a drink sometime.

Irishman: Seen a photo off you but only took a quick glance ,

Sue: What does that mean?

Irishman: Your friend showed me your photo I didn’t want too be pushy if that’s the right word!! She was saying so many nice things about you.

Sue: I have known her for many years. We are great friends.

Irishman: Yes she said that. Have you any pets

Sue: No. You?

Irishman: A rescues pit bull. And 3 cats they live out side not a cat person

Sue: How are they your cats if they live outside?

Irishman: I made boxes lined with paper and such. The cats were abandoned when there owners either passed on or just left them behind. Found Shamrock under a bush she was being used for dog bate!

Sue: Nice of you to rescue them.

Irishman: A farmers son. Every animal should be fed and warm. Do you like outdoors?

Sue: I’m not big on these type of questions for texts. If you want to meet up, let me know.

Irishman: Have you anywhere you prefer to go

Sue: Not sure where you live but prefer the city.

Irishman: I’m on the Far Southside not many nice pubs. Gage, Emerald Loop, Fado, Harry Carey’s.

Sue: Harry Carey’s would be great.

Irishman: You a Cubbies fan

Sue: Yes

Irishman: My friend works in Johnny Ohagans.

Sue: Too far North.

Irishman: Sorry I meant I go there before the games.

Sue: Got it.

Irishman: What’s your schedule What evening is good

Sue: I can do Wed after 6pm?

Irishman: How am I going too know you

Sue: Does that work for you?

Irishman: Yes that’s good

Sue: OK, I will text a pic.

Irishman: Thanks Do you live in the city?

Sue: (tired of texting, I go dark)

Irishman: Later

Sue: Here is my picture.

Irishman: Hello very nice

Sue: See you at 6:15pm at Harry Caray’s, good? (day of date)

Irishman: (he goes dark now)

Sue: Let me know if we are still meeting (4:30pm day of date)

Irishman: Hello Sue , sorry I didn’t reply earlier, I’m working on a rehab building , I won’t be able too be downtown at 6:15 Apologies (5:30pm day of date)

Sue: Another time then.

Irishman: Sorry

Irishman: Hello how was your weekend Sorry I’ve been busy with projects (4 days later)

Irishman: Have a good week I’m a bit rough round the edges

Sue: I just thought it was rude to cancel an hour or two before we were meeting.

Irishman: It was I understand My plumber is an air head he took for ever to do a small job Sorry

Irishman: Hello (3 days later)

Sue: Let’s reschedule (4 days later)

Irishman: Evening, how are you

Sue: Good, you?

Irishman: Just had dinner just relaxing Channel surfing How was your weekend Did u run in the shuffle What’s your schedule

Sue: Out of town this week. Maybe next?

Irishman: Do you usually schedule dates weeks in advance Im self employed, organization is great but not going in a date What about going to a Cubs game You’re tara hard too talk too

Sue: I'm not sure what you are saying?

Irishman: Tara means you’ve got a guard up for good or for bad You know I’m Irish, been told not tat easy to understand Worst question in the world to ask a lady, how old are u? I find u aggressive or maybe defensive

Sue: Then no need for us to meet. Good luck to you.

Irishman: Jasus maybe ure right I don’t need to be wished good luck

Sue: Ok. Then I take it back.

Irishman: Actually I do Like ure blessings You’re aggressive and a good pain in the arse.

AND, SCENE

So, we didn’t go out! A swing and a miss.

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Lesson Learned? Sometimes the Luck of the Irish is just not there.