Lessons from Internet Dating

I have recently started Internet Dating again. I have been doing this off and on for more years than I would like to admit, so, I thought I would let you know about my findings. Here are my top 20 observations. Do you agree? Do you have any to add?

1. If he is wearing a hat in his photo, he is typically bald/balding.

2. If he isn’t showing his teeth or smiling, there is usually a reason.

3. If his online name is PJG70. He was born in 1970.

4. If his online name is goodlvr, move on.

5. If the picture looks yellowed, it is at least 10 years old.

6. If he doesn’t have a picture, there is a reason. He might be married or involved with someone else.

7. If he shares too much in his profile, he might have more problems than a math book. (real example below):

Hello, I thank you for reading my profile. The reason I am on this site is to find my true love. This is not a game for me. I am very serious about this because I no longer want to be alone. Despite having hundreds of wonderful caring friends there still is a void in my life. A certain loneliness that exists despite the many friends I have.

I have been in Love just once in my life which was over 30 years ago and I know how it feels to be in love. That love story had a tragic ending. And it had a crippling effect on me most my life. I did not realize how crippling it was until about 5 years ago. I hide from love because I never ever wanted to feel the pain I felt from my last true love. So sub-consciously I would sabotage my relationships when someone got to close. All my life I would get close to people and when I did they left for one reason or another. I am talking about all my relationships not just women. I never realized I did that. So imagine this you hide from the thing you needs and want the most. LOVE. It sure does not make for a happy fulfilling life now does it. One of my closest friends brought all this to light and I can not thank him enough for bringing it to my attention. I read a book called “Hiding from Love” suggested to me by my friend. I am now aware of what this chink in my amour. I know am wiser and understand this condition I had. I have noticed there are many of you that have this same condition. You do not want to feel the pain that comes with breaking off relationships and most of you are unconsciously preventing yourself to get close to another man.

I am looking for a true love that entails a romantic happily ever after type ending. Yes I believe in the fairy tale endings. My heart is the greatest part of me. I am very capable of loving deeply and sincerely. Forgive me if this sounds like I am bragging a bit but yes I believe in myself and have great confidence in myself. One can not love someone else unless they love themselves first. I am very healthy physically, mentally, emotionally and psychologically. I have never been a violent man and hate violence in all its forms despite being a ex Marine. I am a very loving, compassionate gentleman that has a lust for life and is very passionate about everything I do. I have a very high IQ so I am capable of doing anything I really desire to. There is very little that I can’t do. I am firm believer in physical fitness and health. I am always a gentleman and a hopeless romantic. I am very adventurous and I have many, interest in many things. I look and feel so much younger than others my age.

I am single and I have yet to be married and I have no children but do love kids. I do not drink or smoke.

Now one more thing despite where I live please do not make that an obstacle in getting to know me. I am planning to move soon and have yet to decide where I will move to. If I find a woman that is what I believe is worthy of my attentions and feel that there might be a future with I would be more than willing to move near her. So please do not let the distance be the factor in not getting to know me. It is very rare to find love near your back yard. If you want something bad enough one must look far and wide for it. Love to me is worth the time and effort and yes even distance will not stop me from finding my love. I will leave no stone unturned to find my one and only even if I have to search the ends of the earth.

So is there anyone else out there that is truly making their search for love a priority in their life? I am an extraordinary man and there is only one way for you find that out for yourself is by getting to know me. If you feel there is any chance at all I could be the Prince you look for then please feel free to write me and take a ride on my magic carpet.

8. Many profiles talk about what they perceive (or want) themselves to be, not who they actually are. I know someone who said he likes exotic vacations in his profile and after knowing him for 15 years, I have only known him to go to St. Louis.

9. If the only pictures he has are the ones he took of himself in a mirror or off the computer, etc, he probably doesn’t have many friends.

10. Very few people can pull off the shirtless picture. If it is in a pool having fun = good. If it has the bathroom tile behind him = creepy.

11. If it is in all caps, he probably yells.

12. If it is grammatically incorrect, tread lightly. See real example below:

you had a short ad but it said alot, im a writter and love to read what i write but for the love of god i cant seem to get my thoughts to the screen, the trips in the station wagon sound wonderful i always wanted one of those things, im not sure what my friends wouls say about me?, well for sure im the funny one who loves to sing, well i wont take up to much time, hope to hear back................

13. If there are many pictures of pets, be prepared for someone to have that be the main focus of his life.

14. If a guy only talks about what he doesn’t want, he isn’t over his previously relationship where he was most likely burned.

15. In an e-mail to you, if he doesn’t talk about anything in your profile, it is probably just a mass e-mail he sends out to everyone. The old throw it all up on the wall and see what sticks scenario. See real example below:

Hello My Dear, I was very impressed with your profile and of course I also find you attractive. I wrote to you because I feel you might be the type of gal that might fit what I am searching for, but I can not know that for sure until I know more about you.

My name is XXXX because my friends have named me that because of my personality. My friends named me that. It all started 20 years ago when the friends I had started calling me that because of the passion I played my sports with. Well it transcended beyond that from there. More and more people started to call me that till everyone was calling me that. The reason for that is because I am an upbeat type person and I have a great passion for life and a great passion for my friends. I also am a very passionate person about my beliefs and all that I do and believe. I am very energetic and I seem to be able to make people happy and be able to get them to laugh even when I feel terrible at the time. Quite a few people have said to me that my feet are not touching the ground therefore hence you are XXXX. So that is the name I am called and it does fit me pretty well.

I am on this site because I am searching for that one woman whom I can share everything with. That one woman that will make my dreams come true. That one woman that can complete my happiness. I am doing a very serious search for that woman. No games on my part. I am a very different type of man you may have or have not met. I have searched for 10 years now and have yet to find her. I wrote to you because from what little I know of you, you were a possible match for me. I will leave no stone unturned to find my one and only even if have to search the ends of the earth. I liked what I read about you and I feel I must learn more about you to determine if you are the one I search for.

I am a very loving, compassionate gentleman that has a lust for life and is very passionate about everything I do and passion I have for my friends. My heart is my biggest asset. I am very athletic and I play almost all sports. I am firm believer in physical fitness and health. I am always a gentleman and a hopeless romantic. I am very adventurous and I have many, interest in many things. I am a vegetarian so that means I do not eat any meat of any kind. It is the reason my health is excellent.

(Sue here, thankfully I know what a vegetarian is, but, a great mansplaining for those who don't).

I am single and I have yet to be married. I have no children but I do love children. I am searching for a gal that I would like to find a gal that is very supportive and understanding. A woman that permeates love, compassion and caring from every part of her being. I would like a woman that I can connect on most levels of life. I would like to romance my love each day and to express to her with complete assurance that she is my true love and I need and want her in my life. I want be able to create new ways of romancing each and every day. I also would like to make sure my wife is always satisfied in all things. I will do everything in my power to be the best friend, best companion, and partner I can possibly be.

I am searching for a woman who considers health very important. So if you smoke or do not exercise and or are over weight you will not be very happy with me because I live a very active life style and I think it is best if you want to be with me then your health is important to me as well as for you so that you can share in the things that I do. I find intelligence very stimulating and even very sexy. I search for a woman that can not only stimulate my body but my mind as well.

I promised you I will try my best to tell you what it is that I am hoping for and dreaming of and what I truly desire in a woman that I would like to marry. I do not want to do any injustices to anyone let alone hurt any one. I want to connect on as many levels of you that I can. So I ask you to read everything I write to you about.

I have never cheated on a woman and I have never hit or abused a woman. I do not drink or do drugs. So let’s start this journey of becoming friends first. Is that all right with you?

If you feel I am not the type of guy you are searching for please let me know that as well so that I will not bother you any more. But if you feel there is any chance at all I could be the man you look for then please feel free to write me.

I am a one woman man and I am going to try my best to make the best companion I can. So if this, interest you please contact me.

Hope to hear from you soon. XXXX

16. If it says he is 5’8”, he is probably 5’6 and a 1/2".

17. Many people have quite a bit of courage on a keyboard so if they sound dreamy in their profile, you might hear crickets chirping when you meet in person. Some people are better on a computer than in real life.

18. Self employed typically means unemployed.

19. For some reason, an absurd amount of men have a picture of them flipping off the camera. I am not sure how this would be attractive to anyone?

20. If someone is separated, they may still live at home with their wife, be sure to qualify.

Having said all of this, I am an optimist and still do internet dating! I find it the best way to meet people quickly. Please share your findings!

---

Lessons learned? Although it is a game of numbers, you only need one. So, try not to get discouraged when crazy comes across your screen!