Looking for Clarity - Part 1

This story is really beyond comprehension. It had a life span of 3 years in totality! Here we go.

I went out with a guy from a dating website who I had also seen at Church. I thought, this guy is great, we had an awesome date and many things in common.

However, on the initial date, I should have done one thing differently. I wouldn’t let him walk me home that night. I was in my practical mode and thought it was crazy for him to walk past his car to walk me home. He was trying to be chivalrous, and I turn it down. Silly, I know.

Never heard from him after that. He ghosted and I was bummed.

Then, about a year later, I bump into him on the street. He was in a cab and saw me walking and jumped out to say hello. We had a nice conversation but then again, nothing.

I would see him occasionally throughout the years as we did a lot of the same things. Every time I would see him, we would have great conversations and he seemed genuinely happy to see me. He even would text me nice notes. But, he never really pulled the trigger on setting up another date.

I remember one time when I bumped into him at a Street Fest when I quickly learned he was on a date. He introduced me to her and then said, Sue, you don’t have a beer, let me get you one. He then came back with the beer and his date said, I needed a beer too? Uh oh. Very awkward, I told her to have mine, but it was too late. The damage was done.

It was odd he was paying more attention to me than his date? What is going on?

I saw him yet again and it was his birthday. We have a great time talking and then at some point, I always think, this guy doesn’t ask me out, why am I talking to him? Enough with these mixed signals. I like clarity.

So, I would walk away scratching my head thinking this guy and I are cut from the same mold. Why doesn’t he realize that? I think he is dreamy but his actions never match his words.

Finally, I am with my friend and her husband, and we bump into him at yet another festival. Small world story #592 – my friend’s husband and this guy know each other. They used to work together.

My friend’s husband asked how we know each other? I said, I will let this heartbreaker explain the story and walk away. I wasn't interested in hearing the nonsense he was about to say.

My friend’s husband comes back to me and says Sue, I am so mad at you. I said, why? He said, this guy said he has liked you for years, but you give him many signals that you aren’t interested. He said he is such a great guy, you should really give him a chance. Wait, what?

I said you must have completely misunderstood him because that is not true. My friend’s husband said, Sue, he said you broke his heart. I said seriously, this is really cruel for you to joke around like this as I really liked that guy. His wife (my friend) said Sue, he isn’t joking. He wouldn’t joke like that.

I start thinking back to me not letting him walk me home and all of the times I may have been indifferent. Maybe it is true? On the outside chance it is, I need to get a hold of him because I am giving him completely wrong signals!

So, out of my comfort zone, I call him and ask him out. He said, that would be great, let’s go to a bar by your house. Awesome.

We go out and 3 hours felt like 3 minutes. We have a great time. He was fun, funny, chivalrous, family oriented, successful, everything a girl would want. As we walked home (I let him this time), he even walked on the outside of the street. Love it.

He said next time we go out, we will have to do shots. Next time? This is going well.

What could possible go wrong? Stay tuned next week for part 2! It is another doozy!

Lesson learned? Guys like a challenge but they also don't want to be rejected. So, I need to find a better balance of hard to get and indifference. My poker face is clearly not working!