Mr. Harley

Time for another internet date. This guy seemed pretty good on paper. He was 42, Divorced and lived in a very nice suburb of Chicago. His occupation? Self-employed.

He emails me and what I immediately determine is that he was very bitter. He asked me how long I have been on-line dating and how tired he was of being used for free dinner and drinks.

My instinct was to not go out with him because I felt he was a bit negative for me, but I decided to proceed for the sport of it. However, I had to set something straight with him first.

I told him I felt he was a bit angry and playing the victim role with his dates and wasn’t sure if that was for me. I said, if you don’t want a first date to use you for dinner and drinks, only suggest coffee. I went on to say, besides meeting in person, I am not sure how else you can tell if there is any chemistry.

He apologized, said he really wanted to go out with me and was not that way at all. Hmmmmmm.

He wanted to meet at Navy Pier to look at the tall ships. I said that would be great. Now remember, he lives about an hour away without any traffic from Navy Pier. We decide to meet on a Saturday night.

I was immediately annoyed when he said he was running an hour late. Of course, he tells me that as I am sitting at the Pier. I just couldn’t believe he didn’t plan for traffic on a Saturday night.

He finally shows up and it was a warm night and I see he is all sweaty. Come to find out, he drove his Harley from the suburbs on a day where it is 90 degrees. Kind of a tough first impression but what is a girl to do?

As we walk up and down the pier, he suggests we grab a bite to eat, I immediately say we don’t have to do that (based on his previous comments) but he insists.

We then sit down, I asked what he does for a living. Wait for it, he says he is self-employed which I find actually means he is unemployed and is tired of working for “the man”. Heavy sigh.

He has been out of work for 2 years and knows he is never going to make any money without owning his own business. I told him I work for “the man” and do just fine. He was not having it. So, I asked what business he wanted to open. He said he knows there is a gold mine in the snow plow business. Now, call me crazy but, that is only for a couple of months out of the year in Chicago, and, never guaranteed.

He said he doesn’t want to rush into the business though (I would say he was successful in that since he has been out of work for 2 years). We then start to talk about where he lives. Again, he portrayed that he lived in one of the nicest suburbs of Chicago. I asked what brought him out there.

Well, he went on to say his ex-wife (oh, I mean second ex-wife) brought him to that neighborhood and the house they owned was under water with the mortgage, so, it was repossessed and he currently lives in a 600 sq foot apartment above a garage.

As the bill comes, I think, no wonder he is worried about buying dinner, he doesn’t have a job. I asked if I could pay but he wouldn’t let me. Then, come to find out he parked his Harley in a 2-hour parking spot and he didn’t want to get a ticket. So, time to leave.

He asked if I wanted a ride home. Now, I am thinking, I am never going to see this guy again but that would be a cool way to get home, to ride on the back of his Harley.

As we get to his bike, I discover he doesn’t have the front shield on. I couldn’t believe it! He drove 45 miles on an expressway with those bugs hitting him. ICK!

Then, I realize he doesn’t wear a helmut! That is another thing that is hard for me to wrap my head around so to speak.

We go for a spin in the city. I actually did enjoy it. He then takes me home, quick hug and I am on my way.

I walk in my building and my door man sees me being dropped off. He was scolding me for being in shorts with no helmut on a bike. He was sure I was going to burn my leg on the pipe. He is a smart man. It didn’t happen but could have easily.

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Lesson learned? Some people misrepresent themselves on dating websites to make them seem more marketable. And, don’t wear shorts on a motorcycle.