Who's in Charge?

I met this guy on match.com and what I liked about this connection was, we both went to the same high school. He was a bit older than me, so we didn’t go at the same time but, certainly knew many of the same people.

Our first date was going to a Cubs game and I was excited to get to know him better. He had purchased bleacher seats and we had a great time at the game.

After the game we decided to grab a bite to eat. We went to a restaurant and as we walked in, the hostess looked at me and said, how many people? I say two and we proceed to our table.

After dinner, we went to get a cab to head back towards my place. Now, this guy lives in the ‘burbs so I wasn’t sure if he knew the light on meant the cab is available. So, I see a cab with the light on and wave it over. Success, we are on our way back home.

Since he parked by my place, he heads on his way back to the ‘burbs. As I am getting ready for bed brushing my teeth, my phone rings. I pick it up and it is my date.

He said, you know Sue, you really need to “let a guy be a guy”. I said, what do you mean? He went on to say, you told the server how many people would be dining at the restaurant and you waved the cab over, that is what I should be doing.

**Side note, he has a point and I have to make reservations, etc for clients all the time, so I feel I was in work mode on a date. I need to turn that off.**

I said to him, I appreciate the feedback but if you called to scold me, I am going to go to bed. He said, no, I just wanted you to know. I never heard from him again.

Now, one week later, I am on a date with a different guy. After dinner, we walked by this new hotel one block from where I live. They had a fabulous lounge on the top floor that I had been meaning to check out.

I said to my date, do you mind if we sneak in here for a night cap? They have fun drinks like side cars and whiskey sours. He said, for sure, let’s go.

When we walk in, I see there is a guy with the clip board and rope and stanchion. I immediately walk over to the bouncer and say, hey, I live next door and was hoping to check this cool place out, can you sneak two in? He said, absolutely and lifted the rope we were on our way up.

Then, it occurred to me. I did exactly what I wasn’t supposed to do one week after being scolded by my other date. So, we sit down for our drink and I feel the need to address it. I don’t want to keep making the same mistake.

I say to my date, I am so sorry, I didn’t mean to take over the situation and talk to the bouncer, that is something you were fully capable of doing. He said, OMG Sue, don’t ever apologize for being who you are. The last thing I wanted to do was talk to a d-bag with a clip board. I was so appreciative you handled it. Just be you because I really like it.

There was a weight taken off my shoulder like I have never experienced. I breathed a heavy sigh and thought, I can just be me!

Lesson learned: Some guy will appreciate you for exactly who you are. You don’t have to change to win him over!