Leave it to a teenager to articulate it perfectly.

39 and lives at home? What in the ever loving Coltee is going on? (for you 90 Day Fiance fans).

So, against my better judgement, I text him and say we can meet for a drink.

I am like, what in the alligator arms is going on?

He laughed and asked what high school I went to, and when I told him, we found out we went to the same high school!

Have I found another clock that is ticking? The retirement clock?

Kind of like a low-key Tinder Swindler.

I was reminded by a friend that I was in a situation like this years ago.

Well, as a proper serial dater for years, let's overanalyze this.

Never heard from him after that. He ghosted and I was bummed.

What in the Sister Wives is going on?

I reply, you must not understand my sarcasm. He then went dark.

The server looks at us and says, well this is awkward. You think? Hilarious!

I said sometimes blondes coming up missing in the Caribbean.

And herein lies the opener for us to start talking. This writes itself.

How can someone turn down a toothbrush? UGH!

I asked him if that Cowboy Hat would be making an appearance in Chicago?

I said you have a phone number in your phone taking up space, I want to delete it.

He was fascinating to talk to, I was enthralled with his Hollywood stories.

Q: How much does a polar bear weigh? A: Enough to break the ice.