The dreaded I have to tell you something Sue. I said, spill it (knowing him for all of 2 hours).

I didn't have the heart to tell him all I could smell was sewer.

I was a little rusty at this dating thing so there were a couple of pregnant pauses.

It was like a car crash - I don't want to see it but I need to know more. He likes to save girls, but this girl doesn't need to be saved.

Romeo asks if we know menage a trois is more than wine? Not for me, but I set him up with the girl looking for a Sugar Daddy.

He was a very romantic guy - sent me flowers signed by an "admirer" - but he walks in circles for 2 hours a night in his basement.

Being from a small town, I learned that he wasn’t sure about the concept of valeting your car. I wondered what else would be a challenge...

Assuming he wasn't the priest, I asked which of the other two cute guys in the photo he was. Spoiler alert: he was the priest.

He said he lives in Chicago on Match but he really lives in the burbs. When I question him on this, hilarity ensues.

He hated Chicago: first warning sign. Not to worry - the bartender wins the arguments over pot roast nachos and slider numbers.

He seemed normal, but he told me he had gotten back with an old flame - then I find out he was married. Some days, the Cubs and I both lose.

After wrist surgery, he sends a card wishing me luck. He offers to make dinner for me, puts on Lionel Richie, and that's just the start.

More problems than a math textbook. He startled me, didn't look like his picture, doesn't have a job, and doesn't like his family.

He is addicted to gambling and doesn’t have a pot to pi$$ in. But he did take on 4 guys who tried to steal my purse - dream date, huh?

I was supposed to be solo for 2 days on a mileage run to Hawaii, but I end up exchanging secrets at a restaurant overlooking the ocean.

The Steve Harvey Show received a very long email about me saying I'm single with hilarious stories. Guess I should send over this blog!

His bio said, "Please be normal." But the first message he sent is anything but. I wish him luck, but three's a crowd!

Taking my own advice to go out of my comfort zone, I Tinder with somebody in a bar who puts my name in his phone as "Sue Awesome."

Lives with his mom, got a DUI after two half-glasses of wine, and wants a photo of me. Copied and pasted because you can't make this up.

I think I had already met him. But Robert didn't ring any bells. Leave it to the senior citizens to call us by our proper first names.